Sick Of Kids Who Lie And Hate to Confess? Here's The Solution

A new University of Michigan study published by the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology on January 4, 2017 found that kids of all ages are likely to confess more if they feel that their parents would be happy about it. The researchers also observed that older kids are more likely to confess than the younger ones in the face of imminent punishment.

Science Daily reported that kids of all ages are more likely to confess about their transgressions if they anticipate that their parents would feel happy about it.

Craig E. Smith from the Center for Human Growth and Development, University of Michigan and Michael T. Rizzo from the Department of Human Development and Quantitative Methodology, University of Maryland asked a small group of 4-to-9-year-olds about the emotions they associated with 'lying' or 'confessing' about their misdeeds.

They found that while 4 to 5 years old were more likely to associate positive emotions with the act of lying, and negative emotions with the act of confession. On the other hand, 7-to-9-year-olds associated 'guilt' with the act of lying and positive emotions with the confession. Older kids also talked about the 'wrongness' of lying and 'rightness' of confession.

Smith advises, "Convey that you are going to listen without getting angry right away. As a parent you might not be happy with what your child did, but if you want to keep the line of communication open with your child, try to show them that you are happy that your child told you about it."

The open line of communication is critical when your child becomes teenagers and face adult issues, such as needing a ride home after a drinking binge.

An article published by Family Education points out that most kids lie out of fear. They are afraid of the consequences of their actions and hence, try to cover up their misdeeds. Other reasons for their lying might be:

• to protect others, 
• to avoid an unpleasant task, 
• involuntary slip of tongue, 
• when an imaginative child tries to twist a boring conversation into what he or she thinks is more interesting, and 
• to impress people in an effort to win their love and approval.

The article suggests that when your child is lying, focus on the situation rather than his cover up. You should calmly talk to your child to inform him or her that you are aware of the truth, and that 'lying' is not a good value.

Do not label your child as a 'liar'. Talk to them how lying can mean more problems once the situation-at-hand gets resolved. If the kids get caught in a compound lie, give them the benefit of doubt so that they can feel comfortable talking with you.

While it hurts when kids lie to you or are not honest with you, you should remember to keep yourself approachable as a parent.